Revealing

God is so good at revealing. He brings everything together in the end better than any Seinfeld episode ever could, which is saying something. My morning coffee and God time went something like this: Prayers, Worship, Word.

This is an excerpt from this morning's prayer journal:

It's so much, this burden I carry.
(You picked up the wrong bag.)
I know. I do. Everyday.
(Let go.)
I want to. But I am double minded. I want to. I want you and every bit of what you have planned- even the more painful plans, but I have relied heavily on self-preservation my entire life. It's counter thinking to release this control.
(How are you doing?)
I am not well. Not at all. I am outside your will every second I hang on to it.
(Let go)
I CAN'T!!
(Let go.)
It hurts. My hands have been gripped around the ropes that hold this burden for too long. They are intertwined. They are fused. My knuckles are white.
(Let go.)
You don't know how much it hurts.
(Don't I? Does it feel like the cross?)
NO, LORD!! How can you even compare the two!!?
(Because you are. I know. Daughter. Let go.)
I am sorry. Again and again. You suffered so much more. Unbearable physical pain, mental pain, and we broke your heart. You CHOSE us and we chose to follow fear....like now. I am choosing fear. Forgive me.
(Let go.)
I'm letting. I'm trying. I am leaning. Will you keep reminding me? Because I seem to let go and then I pick it up again without realizing.
(Yes. See you in five minutes.)
Very funny. I am picking up on your sarcasm.
(I should hope so. I am laying it on rather thick.)
Thank you for loving me for who YOU are and not for what I've done.
(anytime. all the time. every time.)

Then I closed my eyes for a second and realized Jeremy Camp was singing these words to me:

All authority
every victory
is yours

Savior, worthy of honor and glory
worthy of all our praise
you overcame

We will overcome by the blood of the lamb and the word of our testimony- everyone will overcome

THEN, I turned to my Bible study, which is all about healthy living and not at all about what I thought I was discussing with God. It said to read 1 Thessalonians 1:4-5-

For we know, brothers loved by God, that he has chosen you, because our gospel came to you not simply with words, but also with power, with the Holy Spirit, and with deep conviction.

AND, 1Thessalonians 5:24 The one who calls you is faithful, and HE will do it.

AND FINALLY, Deuteronomy 13:3-4
The Lord your God is testing you to find out whether you love him with all your heart and with all your soul. It is the Lord your God you must follow, and him you must revere. Keep his commands and obey him; serve him and hold fast to him.

Sometimes God works everything together in such an obvious message it's as if he is causing a bush to catch fire without really burning. Therefore, the only thing left to do is take off your shoes and praise him. This is holy ground. All other ground is sinking sand.
I see Lord. I SEE.

The rules for today's link up?
1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking
2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
3. And then absolutely, no ifs, ands or buts about it, you need to visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments. Seriously. That is, like, the rule. And the fun. And the heart of this community..

There is a really good chance I didn't follow the five minute rule. :/

Count it ALL Joy

I struggle with the verse that tells me to "count it all joy." I know what Paul meant. And half the time I get it, but when I am smack dab in the middle of the goo, it's tough to remember his point. Last night I woke up several times with the thought, "God, I don't know what you are doing." Then I would fall back to sleep. This morning, so early in the summer morning, I woke with the same thought. "Lord, I don't know what you are doing." Then, I tried to pray because it's a good idea when you want to understand and hear from God, that you take a second to listen after you pose sentiments like mine.

I have interviewed for a full-time teaching position with several schools in Boise. I feel this school district is not only a great fit for my kids, but my teaching styles and philosophies seem to align perfectly- so much so, the principals laugh a little when I tell them my preferred lesson plan model is a mix between two: Madeline Hunter and SIOP. They say, "that's funny. That's exactly what we use now. The district chose the best of both, and it works great so far." Yah. I think so too. 

But instead of getting hired at the end of each interview, I get a call some time later saying the same exact phrase. "You are such a strong candidate, but..." And they let me down easy. To add to the fun, my teaching job for the school year has ended, and I am bringing in a few hundred a month with Pampered Chef, but not enough to cover the bills. The cherry on top? We just lost a significant paycheck from my husband's severance pay. "Lord, I don't know what you are doing."

But maybe I do. Maybe I know God wants to give me a job close to home, instead of 45 minutes away. Maybe he wants to save me money in car upkeep and gas, and allow me to use that drive time to actually BE with my family. Maybe he has plans to prosper me and not to harm me. Maybe HE knows the plans he has for me. Maybe he knows I am seeking my security on the knowledge of landing a teaching job next year. (insert disappointed in myself face).

"All other ground is sinking sand."

So, today, I am thankful that even though the devil tries to mess with my mind and security, I do not lean on him. I fully lean on Jesus' name.

I am thankful I have someone as capable as God, and that I don't have to believe the devil if I don't want to.

I am thankful that I have an education that will one day land me a rad job.

I am thankful that I have a summer of hanging out with my kids and raising them to be the coolest kids in town.

I am thankful that GOD knows the plans he has for me and I need not fret.

I am thankful that God does not hand out demeaning head pats when I am repeatedly doubtful. Instead he hugs me closer.

What are you thankful for? I am linking up with these girls because they remind me to be thankful.
 

Follow Me Wednesday

So, I am wandering blogs tonight. Just checking out who would like to be friends, and who has good things to share with me. I want to be an athletic supporter, and I would like to be supported. Athletically and otherwise.

I love surfing these blogs, meeting these women, and basically finding out we are all on the same boat- moms trying to make an impact as we attempt to take a pleasure cruise through eel infested waters.

Here are a couple blogs I found today. I hope you enjoy them. I am eager to get back.





 

I'd love it if you went whole hog and followed me as well. I know many of you pride yourselves on being a lurker, but don't you think it's time to commit already? Come'on and share some love! You can follow by email or just click that little blue button over there. See me pointing?

Love/Hate Link Up With NoDots

My friend No..el is a really fantastic blogger. She always has been, but lately she has been sprucing her goose (NOT a euphemism).
Today she is hosting a link up. We get to join her in posting anything or one thing or several things with which we have a love slash hate relationship. Click her beautiful face and pay her a visit to check out the serious circus she has going on over there. See me pointing?

LOVE/HATE

I love my hairs.

Not so much when they touch me and make me feel the strangle.

I love my guitar, Rosalie.

Not so much the ouchies she leaves behind making it obvious that I haven't picked her up enough this week.

I love flops, Old Navy ones to be precise.

Not so much the less than baby soft skin to which they lead.

I love Starbucks.

Not so much the Nampa location, as they insist on putting the mouth hole on the seam. Get it together people. That is SO barista training 101.

I love massages (much like the one I had today)

Not so much when they end. PLEASE DON'T GO MASSAGE LADY! :(

What do you love slash hate right now? Leave me a comment, and tell No..el that I sent you.. Or large Marge. Whatevers

Work it Sister

Week two schedule for getting that booty busted. Get your leg warmers on and get to getting.

 (As is typical, when following a new exercise plan, check with your doctor and know your limits)
A few notes: My running app is excellent, and worth the $2.99 price. Those of you who want to bypass this option, just do a jog/walk alternating session. I like to walk for one minute, run for two until my 30 minutes are up.

**Details on the full body plank can be found here

Monday
Running App- 30 minutes with quick but thorough stretch
5 pushups- girl's, boy's, whatevers- just do 5
10 minute for real stretching (get your bendy on)

Tuesday
Running App- 30 minutes
10 minute stretch
30 second full body plank**

Wednesday
We call this day recovery. Drink your water. Eat your protein. Get a massage. Take a bath. Let your muscles heal.

Thursday
Running App- 30 minutes
Five for Five:
5 pushups
5 squats- watch yourself in the mirror and make sure your weight is in your heels
5 minute yoga stretch-really bendy. This will make all the difference.

Friday
Recovery

Saturday
Running App- 30 minutes
One hour workout video- I choose The Dailey Method, and it's amazing. Trust me. Do you trust me?

Stay strong little roots. You can do this!

Things that make my brow furrow

There isn't coffee in my hands.
I wanna watch hours of Gilmore Girls but can't.
There is a fly buzzing around my head, and he isn't small.
I have my third sinus infection of the year. Ghetto
My desire for donuts right this minute.
There isn't coffee in my hands.
Sam (5) can only communicate with passion aka crazy emotions.
My husband is at work.
I have deadlines looming.
I have so many thins to do, I don't know where to begin.
There isn't coffee in my hands.


Things that make me smile?
I hear my big boy helping his brother AND making me coffee. Well played Elijah. Don't tell anyone, but you are totally my favorite.

Five Minute Friday

Don't fight it. Write for five minutes for this Friday's blog link. No editing. No back tracking. Just write. Topic? Opportunity. Ready. Steady. Go.

First of all, I am going to be typing a whole lots more slowly than usual because I may teype quickly, but there are SO many mistakes. Point proven with how I wrote the word "Type".
Opportunity? Oh we all have so many each day, every second. I know I do. I fail to make the most of most of them. I succeed in over thinking most of the ones I jump after. And if I make it that far in the process, I begin to let horrible seeds of doubt take root. Today, I had the opportunity to spend time with my kids as they got out of school early for their last day of school. I opted not to spend as much time with them because I felt my sinus infection creeping in, and I think he is here to stay. Instead, I took the opportunity to take a nap. It so rarely happens around here, and I have been getting up so butt crack of dawn early this week to get my exercise on, I wasn't going to wait to be told twice before seizing this diem.
I saw a license plate on a car that lived next door to my brother. (At least I think that's where I saw it.) It said something like CRPADIEM. I get it. Now. Carpe Diem. Then I thought it said crap a damn.

Five minutes is up.
I think I should apologize. You have to be careful when you step into this mind. It's a scary place sometimes. I am off to snuggle with my movie and tissues. Until we meet again. Crap a damn!